On falling in Love

For love to be grounded in reality it must be based on an accurate perception of the beloved, not fantasy, reverie or illusion. Love fuelled by a projection of a saint-like idealisation on to the beloved is bound to dwindle once the image of unbending perfection disintegrates and the real person, with her unsaintly flaws, is left in its place. Sustained only by fantasy and illusion, love that idealises the beloved is void of rationality.

24/7 Relationships

“The salient truth is that in close quarters for extended periods everyone’s ‘little ticks’ and irritating habits, which can be mostly overlooked during weekends, are magnified to Argentinosaurus proportions (largest dinosaur. No me neither). Even mine.”

Conflicts of Choice.

The idea of conflicts over unacceptable aspects of the self is a central part of the psychodynamic point of view. In relation to our internal worlds Freud borrowed the word ‘dynamic’ from the study of physics to convey the idea of two conflicting forces producing a resultant third force which acts in an opposing direction.

Food issues

Eating disorders are a relatively common psychological illness but are not always well diagnosed. They describe illnesses characterised by irregular eating habits and severe distress or concern about body weight or shape. Eating disturbances may include inadequate or excessive food intake, ultimately damaging an individual’s well-being by both physiological damage to health and psychological illness. There are also the more hidden negative social, employment and lifestyle effects associated with eating disorders.

Happy Holidays

Families are the tribe from which we come from, and the desire to be with family and stay connected is deeply compelling. The other truth is that our relationships are often fraught with unresolved issues that may carry simmering tension and ambivalence. The holidays can exacerbate this built-in tension.